Emotional intelligence

When I was young, I still remember that people emphasised the importance of IQ (Intelligence Quotient), assuming that it was one of the key predictors of academic and financial success. But these days, people have more talked about Emotional Intelligence (EQ). So I just did a quick research about EQ. The followings are the results.

What is Emotional intelligence

Emotional Intelligence (EI) describes the ability, capacity, skill or, in the case of the trait EI model, a self-perceived ability, to identify, assess, and manage the emotions of one's self, of others, and of groups. (Source)

Emotional intelligence is the unique repertoire of emotional skills that a person uses to navigate the everyday challenges of life.(Source)

Emotional Intelligence is the ability to identify, use, understand and manage emotions. (source)

Research suggests that a person's emotional intelligence (EQ) might be a greater predictor of success than his or her intellectual intelligence (IQ), despite an assumption that people with high IQs will naturally accomplish more in life. (Source)

Goleman identified the five 'domains' of EQ as:
1. Knowing your emotions.
2. Managing your own emotions.
3. Motivating yourself.
4. Recognising and understanding other people's emotions.
5. Managing relationships, ie., managing the emotions of others. (Source)

Two aspects
• Understanding yourself, your goals, intentions, responses, behaviour and all.
• Understanding others, and their feelings. (Source)

For decades, a lot of emphasis has been put on certain aspects of intelligence such as logical reasoning, math skills, spatial skills, understanding analogies, verbal skills etc. Researchers were puzzled by the fact that while IQ could predict to a significant degree academic performance and, to some degree, professional and personal success, there was something missing in the equation. Some of those with fabulous IQ scores were doing poorly in life; one could say that they were wasting their potential by thinking, behaving and communicating in a way that hindered their chances to succeed.

One of the major missing parts in the success equation is emotional intelligence, a concept made popular by the groundbreaking book by Daniel Goleman, which is based on years of research by numerous scientists such as Peter Salovey, John Meyer, Howard Gardner, Robert Sternberg and Jack Block, just to name a few. For various reasons and thanks to a wide range of abilities, people with high emotional intelligence tend to be more successful in life than those with lower EIQ even if their classical IQ is average. (Source)

Emotional Intelligence Test (click here)

After a brief reading about EI, what I understand is that it is a skill someone needs to develop or improve the personal ability to control newly emerging (own or others) emotions triggered by external stimuli, without reducing normal thinking power , while brain is working well in its maximum speed for further plans. To be honest, I must say I still need to learn more about this social science topic.

Thank you

Cross-sex friendship and its outcome

I came across this interesting sociology topic, cross-sex friendship and I learnt a bit more.

What is cross-sex friendship? It is having a friend of the opposite sex, that is, a man has a female friend and a woman has a male friend.

Cross sex friendship is historically rare in many societies while partnership is better acceptable model. There have been many social territories where such kind of relationship has been prohibited on the ground of religion, tradition and culture. Even though there is no such restriction, many people would not need an opposite sex as a friend. For example, a man with a full of family commitment would not pay attention too much on his old and new friends.

On the other hand, there have been a few societies in which cross-sex friendship is well accepted as part of a social life. In this point, it can be seen that there is less discrimination between genders, treating both sex as the same.

It is suggested that it is a sort of social freedom. But it would bring some drawbacks. For example, cross-sex friendship could ruin the existing partnership or even harm the marriage life. It would force to stop a potential long term partnership. It is also inevitable that members of society often presume a sexual involvement. Further more, it is not uncommon that there is a possibility of the existence of sexual tension. Some believe that cross-sex friendship occasionally acts as a start of adultery.

However, having a friend of the opposite sex would have some benefits. Basically, one can get an emotional support which is not available from the same sex friend. Besides, it would be a very useful approach for someone who is meticulously choosing his or her future partner. That friendship could be transformed into a partnership at any time if circumstances are right.

To conclude, cross-sex friendship is one of the social models despite its variable incidence depending on individual person and society. Some one would create this relationship for one or more purposes. But it can be said that it would be an unacceptable condition if someone claim “it is just a friendship" in order to cover up what is actually happening.

Any educated argument, Welcome

Further readings

1. Cross-sex friendship in adulthood
   
2. Cross-sex friendship by Michael Monsour
3. The effect of gender role orientation on same- and cross-sex friendship formation

Referene

1. Cross-sex friendship Wikipedia