Unplanned holiday, jokes and Inglorious Basterds

It is unplanned holiday. It just happens. That means no flight and hotel booking. I feel staying at home quietly is sometime the best holiday option after working non-stop, seeing sick people and dealing with anxious family members.

I popped in to local Waterstone book store, where I picked up some books and DVDs.



This is from the book I took to intend to read at bed time. More than half of the jokes from the book, compiled by Ivor Baddiel and Ian Stone, made me laugh. The title is “The best pub joke book”.

A surgeon came to see his patient on the morning after her operation. The young woman asked him, somewhat hesitantly, how long it would be before she could resume her sex life.

"I really haven’t thought about it", gulped the stunned surgeon, “You’re the first patient who’s asked me that question after a tonsillectomy!”

This is about a lawyer.

I man calls his lawyer and asked: “How much would you charge me to answer three questions”
“£400”, the lawyer replies.
“Jesus”, says the man, “that’s a lot of money, isn’t it?”
“I guess so” replies the lawyer, “What’s your third questions?”

Here is husband and wife.

A man rushes in to his house and yells to his wife, “Debbie, pack your things, darling. I just won the lottery!”

“Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?” asks Debbie.
“I don’t care,” the man responds. “Just so long as you’re out of the house by noon!”

Another husband and wife.

John’s wife was not so good with money and , determined to economise, he’d decided to have a chat with her about it. The following days he met up with his mate.
“So” asked his mate, “do you think your little chat worked?”
“Yes, I think so” said John. “I’m going to give up beer and fag.”

“The ultimate book of rude and politically incorrect jokes” is a top-listed when we browsed joke books in online stores. This is something adult jokes.

An old couple went into the chemist’s and the old man asked for a packet of condoms. “We’re having a dirty weekend,” he said.
The chemist said “But you’re both pensioners aren’t you?
He explained that a woman over 60 could not become pregnant.
“It’s not that", said the old man. “She just loves the smell of burning rubber”

Last night, I watched Inglorious Basterds which is one of the Oscar nominees. Brad Pitt was talking in a funny accent. Christoph Waltz appeared as sick Nazi colonel. It can be said that the film is an outstanding performance of Vienna born actor, whose action dominated the American A class star as a whole. At the end of the film, it seemed to me that it was a sort of comedy.

Someone recommended that it was worth watching it. It was Avatar. The News paper claimed that Avatar sinks Titanic record. I noticed that the director was James Cameron who was the director of Titanic, Aliens, Rambo and Terminator series. Perhaps, I will watch it before going back to work.

Update: 18:34hrs (4th Feb 2010)
I did check what's wrong with people to spell "Basterd" , in stead of Bastard. The Urban Dictionary describes the meaning of Baterd. A couple of interesting meanings are as follow.

Basterd
1. A clever misspelling of the word BASTARD used to ensure your movie title stands out when Googled.

1. When someone is too stupid to spell bastard, basterd is often the result.

:)

More on Urban Dictionary here